What your fashion choices say about you: Rolex/Patek or equivalent: I want you to judge me superficially, and I will do the same. Because this is my identity. Barbour jacket: I did gay things in prep school. Pocket square: I take myself too seriously, and cannot be trusted. And my Range Rover is leased. Vineyard Vines anything: If I trust you, I will tell you the best racist jokes. Monogrammed shirt: I cheat on my wife. Lululemon everything: My wife cheats on me. "Fun" socks: Zero personality. Backpack: I’m lazy and proud of it. Dress sneakers with a suit: I am even lazier. Oxford collar: I don't take risk. Fashion brand belt (Gucci or Hermes): I would steal from my own mother. Suit with no tie: Kiss my ass. Health monitor (watch, ring, wristband): I’m a sucker. Quarter zip pullover: IDGAF.