A local bar was so confident their bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until every last drop of juice was in a glass, then hand the lemon to a customer. Anyone who could squeeze out even one more drop would win the money. Over the years, many people tried, including weightlifters, dock workers, and bodybuilders, but nobody could do it. One day, a skinny little man in thick glasses and a cheap polyester suit walked in and said in a tiny squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said okay, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed until the rind was completely dry. Then he handed it to the little man. The bar fell silent as the man clenched the lemon in his fist… …and six more drops fell into the glass. The crowd erupted. The bartender handed over the $1,000 and asked, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack? A weightlifter?” The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re in here a lot. Do you think you might have a drinking problem?” The horse replies, “I don’t think I do,” and promptly disappears. Now, my philosophy followers here on X are already laughing, because they’re familiar with René Descartes’ famous proposition: Cogito, ergo sum — “I think, therefore I am.” But explaining that beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

Last call's been called. The bartender stays. 🎬 🎬 #bartender# #sportsbar# #blondebabe# #blondebombshell# #aiwaifu# #aigirl# #aiporn# #aigenerated# #nsfwai# #nsfw# #porn# #adult# #pov# #blowjob#

Justin Timberlake and Tiger Woods have settled a lawsuit brought against the New York sports bar and restaurant they own which alleged bartenders were denied tips they made and underpaid for overtime.

🚨AOC says she has “no reason” to cooperate with federal auditors investigating her suspicious $22 million net worth. “I have the same right to privacy as everyone else.” Meanwhile, investigators are baffled—how does a socialist congresswoman go from bartender to multi-millionaire without something shady going on? One federal official warned: “It would be in her best interest to cooperate.” The walls are closing in.

Cheers to @delolalife Friday! To craft Delola, I brought in the world’s best bartender Lynnette Marrero, so you don’t have to! Simply pour over ice and enjoy a world class crafted cocktail with none of the effort. Made with natural botanicals, lower in calories than traditional cocktails, and sooo delicious. Salud! 💙✨ #Delola# #DelolaLife#