For those of you who thought I was hiding during today’s big Bitcoin rally, I was observing the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. Now I’m off to break the fast, but I’ll have plenty to post about the rally tomorrow, assuming it holds up.

My dear antisemites, Hanukkah, Purim, and Passover are all holidays celebrating the defeat of enemies who tried to destroy us. While we're flattered by your selfless efforts to create a new Jewish holiday, we really can't afford the calories. Thanks anyway.