An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to enquire why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye but I am as Scottish as you are Jock. Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts. Scot: Aye, so do I. Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts? Scot: Aye, neither do I. Secretary: But you are a Jew? Scot: Aye, I be that. Secretary: So you are circumcised? Scot: Aye, I be that too. Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that. Scot: Ach, away with ya man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Saint Columbus. But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club.