ThatGirlFawzee(@Missfawziaa):my best friend and i have one rule for first dates: if i say "i can't remember the last time i laughed this hard," she has to call with a fake emergency. i said it once, at an escape room with a guy named Mateo, and then he solved the final puzzle by accident while pretending to be a pirate and i forgot i'd ever said it. at minute 59, my phone started blasting her ringtone, a recording of her screaming "THE PROPHECY HAS BEGUN" over a banjo, and i hit speaker. she yelled: "THE CAT SITTER QUIT. THE CAT HAS HIRED A LAWYER. HE'S SUING YOU FOR EMOTIONAL NEGLECT."...

2026.10.30 16:23

my best friend and i have one rule for first dates: if i say "i can't remember the last time i laughed this hard," she has to call with a fake emergency. i said it once, at an escape room with a guy named Mateo, and then he solved the final puzzle by accident while pretending to be a pirate and i forgot i'd ever said it. at minute 59, my phone started blasting her ringtone, a recording of her screaming "THE PROPHECY HAS BEGUN" over a banjo, and i hit speaker. she yelled: "THE CAT SITTER QUIT. THE CAT HAS HIRED A LAWYER. HE'S SUING YOU FOR EMOTIONAL NEGLECT."...