As predicted: UK Parliamentarians are agitating for mandatory “Spyware” on all phones, computers, and tablets: on the pretext of detecting Indecent Images of Children (CSAM). This might sound like a laudable objective: “The campaign asks for a requirement in primary legislation that the operating systems of phones, tablets and laptops sold in the UK block child sexual abuse material on the device; scope limited to that material, with any change needing a vote of Parliament; independent testing before and after deployment, with the results published; and a criminal offence for any other use. Apple, Google and Meta already run on-device software that recognises and blurs nudity, including inside encrypted messages, as an optional setting for children’s accounts.” However, this is state-sponsored device-level surveillance of every connected device owner’s photos, videos, and livestreams. That means the government is sifting through legal, consensual, adult nudes in every owner’s photo gallery, emails, and messages using fallible technology. Apple’s new UK terms and conditions already include being restricted, suspended, or banned from using Apple “Software or Services”. The implications for freedom of expression, to freely send and receive information, might lead to self-censorship at best; and slippage towards total client-side scanning (looking at everything on a user’s phone) at worst. This is a simply unacceptable intrusion into individuals’ liberties. This should be of concern to everyone, from victims of sexual violence in possession of evidence of their assaults; adult-content creators, whether sex workers, or amateurs filming consensual adult liaisons; and consumers of legal adult content.