I went to karaoke alone because I was sad.
Booked a room for one hour.
Hour 2: Staff called the room.
Staff: Sir, your time is up.
Me: Can I extend?
Staff: All rooms are booked.
Me: Okay, I'll leave.
I tried to open the door. LOCKED.
Me: Hello? The door is locked!
Staff: silence
Me: HELLO?!
Hour 3: Still locked in.
I called the front desk from the room phone.
Different staff: Sorry, who is this?
Me: I'm locked in Room 7!
Staff: Room 7 is empty according to our system.
Me: I'M IN IT RIGHT NOW!
Staff: That's impossible. I'll send someone.
Nobody came.
Hour 4: I started YELLING.
Banging on the door.
The room next to me banged BACK.
Muffled voice: SHUT UP! WE'RE TRYING TO SING!
Me: I'M TRAPPED!
Voice: WE ALL ARE! IT'S KARAOKE!
Me: WHAT?!
Hour 5: I called the police.
Police: You're locked in a karaoke room?
Me: YES!
Police: Have you tried the door?
Me: OF COURSE I TRIED THE DOOR!
Police: We'll send someone.
Hour 6: Police arrived.
Officer: through the door, Sir, can you hear me?
Me: YES! GET ME OUT!
Officer: The staff says the door isn't locked.
Me: IT'S LOCKED!
Officer: Can you try pulling instead of pushing?
Me: tries pulling
The door OPENED.
Me: You're kidding me.
Officer: Have a good night, sir.
Week later: I got a BILL.
For 6 hours of karaoke: ¥24,000.
Me: I WAS TRAPPED!
Manager: You extended your stay.
Me: BY ACCIDENT!
Manager: The system shows you called for service multiple times. That counts as engagement.
Me: I WAS CALLING FOR HELP!
Manager: Karaoke is supposed to be fun, sir.
Month later: They sent me to COLLECTIONS.
Debt collector: You owe ¥24,000 for karaoke services rendered.
Me: I DIDN'T RENDER ANYTHING!
Collector: You were in the room. That's enough.
Month 3: I hired a LAWYER.
Lawyer: This is the dumbest case I've ever taken.
Me: Can we win?
Lawyer: Probably not. You WERE in the room for 6 hours.
Me: I WAS TRAPPED!
Lawyer: You also sang 47 songs according to the system logs.
Me: I was BORED and TRAPPED!
Lawyer: The judge won't care.
Month 5: We went to COURT.
Judge: Let me understand. You're suing because... you sang too much karaoke?
Me: I was locked in!
Karaoke manager: The door was never locked. He simply didn't know how to open it.
Judge: trying not to laugh
Me: The police confirmed...
Judge: That you didn't know how to open a door. Yes.
I lost the case.
Ordered to pay ¥24,000 plus ¥50,000 in legal fees.
Present day:
I'm banned from that karaoke chain.
But last week I got a voucher in the mail.
"Free 1-hour session! We've added PUSH/PULL signs to all doors!"
They're MOCKING me.
I used the voucher.
Got locked in again.
I'm currently in Hour 3.
I've learned nothing.