>be senior devops engineer in Germany >master's degree, 10 years experience, five interview rounds >72,000€ before tax >C2 German required >All team members based in Asia speaking English >mandatory office attendance to sit on Teams with people at another mandatory office >"we have a startup mindset" >company founded in 1894, CEO is the founder's great-grandson >"we have flat hierarchies" >eight people can veto your decision, none can approve it >hired to "drive digital transformation" >need department head's signature to install Docker >service account request rejected because "accounts must belong to a person" >CI/CD pipeline ends with a ticket for Jürgen >Jürgen on holiday until the 23rd >AI tools forbidden because Datenschutz >database password in an encrypted Excel file called Passwörter_final_NEU.xlsx >root password in Confluence >on-call every weekend >company phone listed under benefits >ask for a raise >unfortunately the salary band is exhausted >no budget for a second monitor >external consultant gets 1,400€ a day to ask you how the code works >take banana from company fruit basket >office manager says those are for the upcoming customer visit >Fachkräftemangel