The AI index is 15 of 25 reported, and the beats have been near universal. The stock reactions have not. $ALAB is the sharpest example. Astera Labs cleared its EPS estimate by 15.9% on record revenue of $392.4M, up 104% year over year, and fell 12.0% the next session. Options had priced a 24.1% swing, the widest in the index going in. $PLTR went the other direction, beating by 17.1% and gaining 29.5%, roughly double its implied move and the largest reaction on the board. $MSFT (+15.5%) and $AMZN (+15.3%) also cleared what options had priced. The rest of the AI infrastructure complex beat and got sold anyway. $AMD posted record revenue of $11.5B, up 50%, and fell 7.0%. $INTC beat by 90.9% and fell 7.9%. $ANET delivered its first $3B quarter with non-GAAP EPS up 40% year over year and managed a 3.6% gain. $ARM set a revenue record at $1.29B, up 22%, and rose 7.4%. $IONQ narrowed its adjusted loss to $0.33 against a $0.59 estimate on revenue of $80.1M, up 287% and above its own guidance. $META and $QCOM were the only EPS misses. $NVDA on 8/26 and $CRWD on 9/1 are the two heaviest weights still to report. Full scorecard below.