So I’m not washing my hair anymore. Apparently you’re not allowed to say that. Watch how angry people get. I looked at my shampoo yesterday. Really looked at it. “Dead Sea minerals.” Oh. Interesting. So I’m standing naked in my own bathroom, and somehow Israel is involved. How did that happen? I wanted clean hair. I didn’t ask for a strategic partnership. And the instructions? “Lather. Rinse. Repeat.” Repeat? For how long? What’s the exit strategy? Nobody can tell you. You’re just supposed to keep doing it. Forever. Then my wife says, “Tucker, please. You smell.” I love my wife. Wonderful woman. But notice she didn’t address a single one of my questions. She went straight to the personal attack. That’s what they do when they’re losing. Look, I’m not against washing hair. I’m against mandatory American participation in washing hair. If Netanyahu wants these minerals on my head so badly, he can come over here and explain why. Until then, the oils stay.