A Russian and an American arrive in Hell. The Devil greets them and asks, “So, which Hell do you want: the American one or the Russian one?” “What’s the difference?” they ask. “In American Hell, you have to eat one bucket of shit every day. In Russian Hell, it’s two buckets.” The American says, “Well… American Hell, obviously.” The Russian thinks for a moment and says, “Eh, I’ve spent my whole life in Russia. No point changing now.” A month later, they run into each other again. The Russian asks, “So, how’s it going over there?” The American replies, “Not bad. Every morning I eat my bucket of shit, then I’m free for the rest of the day. What about you?” The Russian shrugs. “Same as always. Either the shit never got delivered, or there aren’t enough buckets for everyone.”