Every time I start focusing on early retirement, I get depressed. I hit my FIRE number to never work again back in January of this year. This was followed by one of the most soul-crushing depression feelings I have ever had in my life. I realized I had organized my entire life around achievement for survival. And once survival was taken care of, achievement started to not lift me up the same way it did for the last ten years. This caused me to uncover the most uncomfortable belief that many men in America feel, I equated my productivity with my worth. So every step towards early retirement was a step towards worthlessness. And wow, realizing the destination I was yearning for since I was 21 was actually a state of worthlessness shook my entire body. So, I decided to travel and see the world. I saw Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, India, Thailand, and Taiwan. I came back from my travels, and I was still depressed. Nothing had actually changed. My productivity and worth were still inextricably linked. So, is there a way to contribute while also being retired? Or do you just put your head in the sand and move back to San Francisco? 😂