We all get down. We all come back.
So the only difference between us is how quickly, and fully, can you bounce back?
Two of my favorite rules here are:
90 seconds of suffering - Stole this from Tony Robbins.
When I get upset. I don’t deny it. I don’t resist it. I don’t lie to myself (“I’m not mad, you’re mad!”). Instead, I give myself 90 seconds to wallow in it. Full permission to feel shitty for 90 seconds.
Now, 90 seconds sounds short. In reality, when I do this, halfway thru I’m looking at my watch, because the feeling passes when you don’t resist it. And I’m ready to move back into a better state of mind.
Heal to 101% - One of my favorite big ideas is that every relationship will have arguments - but does the relationship heal to 99% or 101%?
If it’s 99%, that means you lost a little in that fight. A little trust. A little respect. A little love. And over time, losing 1% each time, the relationship will shrink.
But if you can focus on healing to 101%. Bounce back better than where you were before. Then the relationship grows every time.