Ask almost any divorced woman why she left her husband, and you'll hear the same story. He drank, he cheated, he was abusive, always the exact same script. At some point, it starts sounding like every single person was escaping hell itself, and they tell it with so much self-pity that you almost feel bad for them, until you start asking uncomfortable questions. Okay, he drank, cheated, and treated you badly. But if he was really such a monster, then why did you marry him in the first place? Why did you have children with him? The answer is always predictable. He used to be caring, ambitious, athletic, supportive, and then he changed. But maybe the real question is, what broke him? How much pressure did you put on him before he escaped into alcohol? How much constant criticism and emotional immaturity did he deal with before silence became easier than explaining himself? You promised to stay through hard times, but the moment things got difficult, you left. Then you labeled it a toxic relationship. The truth is, he probably didn't become a monster overnight. It happened when he no longer had anywhere to put his pain. And if you spent years belittling him, comparing him to others, or humiliating him, don't hide behind the word victim.