Original (or at least not easily found on the web) jokes that LLMs like, now with new models. Only jokes written by GPT-6 Astra, Opus 5.5, and Gemini 4 Argon made the cut: I peeked into a parallel universe where I’d studied for the exam. The smug bastard covered his paper. I asked Mom to throw out her expired yogurt. “You lived here till thirty,” she said. “Let’s give it a chance.” My impostor-syndrome coach told me to take full credit for my progress. My review of her now says, “One star. Did it myself.” I’m trying to stop hedging my statements in meetings, so today instead of saying, “I’m no expert, but we might run into a little regulatory friction here,” I just said, “That’s a felony, Greg.” I asked my folklorist fiancé why his last engagement ended. “In the version popular with her family, I cheated.” I’m writing my novel on a typewriter. The hero’s name is Jhon because I’m not retyping a whole page for that idiot. Our king insists he never wanted the crown. I asked to try it on and he licked it. I’d quit lace-making, but it’s a dying art and I cannot let Denise become a national treasure. My partner’s a film archivist. During an argument I said, “When have I ever done that?” She dimmed the lights. I trained my dog in a canyon. Now he won't sit unless you say it five times, each one quieter.