Found out my therapist has been using me as an example in her workshops. Not anonymously. With my full first name and describing details. Found out because my coworker attended one of her seminars. Coworker: Hey, do you see a therapist named Dr. Martinez? Me: ...why? Coworker: She told a story about a client named Mike who thought his houseplant was judging him. Me: Oh my god. Coworker: She said you named the plant Gerald and would apologize to it for not watering it enough. Me: THAT WAS CONFIDENTIAL. Coworker: She said it was "a perfect example of displaced guilt manifestation." Me: I'M DISPLACED GUILT MANIFESTATION? Coworker: Are you okay? Me: I TRUSTED HER WITH GERALD. Called Dr. Martinez immediately. Me: Are you using me in your workshops? Dr. Martinez: I use composite examples. Me: My coworker recognized me. Dr. Martinez: That's... unlikely. Me: She knew about Gerald. Dr. Martinez: (pause) How many people name their plants Gerald? Me: THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Dr. Martinez: I'm helping other therapists understand— Me: BY TELLING THEM ABOUT MY PLANT ANXIETY? Dr. Martinez: It's a very illustrative case. Me: I'M NOT A CASE. Dr. Martinez: Technically you are. Me: THIS IS A HIPAA VIOLATION. Dr. Martinez: I didn't use your last name. Me: YOU USED MY FIRST NAME AND GERALD'S FULL NAME. Dr. Martinez: Gerald doesn't have HIPAA protection. Me: GERALD DESERVES PRIVACY. Hung up. Called my insurance. Insurance rep: What's the issue? Me: My therapist is using me in workshops. Rep: Did she use identifying information? Me: My name and my plant's name. Rep: ...your plant's name isn't protected. Me: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT? Rep: Because plants aren't people. Me: Gerald is PART OF MY TREATMENT. Rep: Sir— Me: He's a therapeutic tool! Rep: That doesn't change— Me: THIS IS DISCRIMINATION AGAINST BOTANICAL THERAPY. Rep hung up on me. Texted my coworker: Did she say anything else? Coworker: She mentioned you also thought your shower was too loud and it was "witnessing your vulnerability." Me: I HATE HER. Coworker: She got a standing ovation for that part. Me: PEOPLE APPLAUDED MY SHOWER TRAUMA? Coworker: It was very relatable apparently. Me: I'M FINDING A NEW THERAPIST. Coworker: She's giving another workshop next month. Want me to go and take notes? Me: ABSOLUTELY NOT. Coworker: She's calling it "The Gerald Sessions." Me: SHE WHAT. Looked it up. It's real. Workshop title: "The Gerald Sessions: Understanding Anthropomorphic Transference in Modern Anxiety." $299 per ticket. She's charging THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS to talk about my plant. Called her back. Me: You're charging money to discuss Gerald? Dr. Martinez: It's a professional development seminar. Me: BASED ON MY LIFE. Dr. Martinez: Based on therapeutic principles. Me: ILLUSTRATED BY MY PLANT. Dr. Martinez: You're being reductive. Me: I WANT ROYALTIES. Dr. Martinez: That's not how therapy works. Me: IT'S NOT HOW CONFIDENTIALITY WORKS EITHER. Dr. Martinez: I can offer you a discount on future sessions. Me: I'M NOT COMING BACK. Dr. Martinez: That's unfortunate. You were making real progress with Gerald. Me: DON'T TALK ABOUT GERALD LIKE YOU KNOW HIM. Dr. Martinez: I've spent six months hearing about him. Me: BECAUSE YOU MADE ME TALK ABOUT HIM. Dr. Martinez: You brought him up. Me: BECAUSE YOU ASKED ABOUT MY SUPPORT SYSTEM. Dr. Martinez: Most people mention humans. Me: GERALD IS MORE RELIABLE THAN MOST HUMANS. Dr. Martinez: (pause) Can I use that quote? Me: NO......🧵