Bitch Brunette
@bitchbrunette
Getting drunk, saying inappropriate things, and offending everyone. Fuck guys, love yourself.
0 Following 68.8K Followers
You know your relationship is dysfunctional when you find yourself relating to an Eminem song 🤦🏻♀️
The Slutty Girl's Ultimate Guide to Blow Jobs
@sluttygrlprobs by @BitchBrunette
Long time no see Twitter... honestly just missed my favorite account @bitchbrunette and reading her tweets #mylife#
Why is it that I can’t ever find a flipping bobby pin until I go to vacuum my room? #Oops# #CrunchGoesBobbysPins#
My mom always uses a tree skirt at Christmas and I just don’t think that in 2018 we should be assuming the tree’s gender
Can someone 3-D print a regular printer that actually works?
I knew I wasn’t alone in this....
Do you ever just sit there and think about Texas Roadhouse’s rolls with cinnamon butter
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary# I barely remember it... I’m glad I chose today to login for the first time in months...
Listening to the “popular” hip hop playlist on Apple Music and I am glad my head has been buried in the sand. I’m humiliated for Hip Hop these days.... #RIPHipHop#
I just downloaded the Freddi Fish app and my eight year old self peed a little from excitement #BestFiveDollarsEverSpent# #GrownUpButNot#
“Why do I get the feeling you’re about to mess up my entire life?”
My resting bitch face #ThingsIShowOff#
Thank you guys for retweeting my old shit to remind me that I really had no idea what I was talking about #21YearOldTwitterTwerp# #27AndStillNotAClue#
If being an adult isn’t drinking too much wine, listening to Billy Idol, and coloring then I have no idea what I’m doing...
Twitter is like high school... no matter how long you’ve been out of touch (or graduated), it’s the same drama.
I dream of the day that someone tells me that my butt looks fat in a pair of jeans #IHaveNoAss# #Jelly#
My favorite color is glitter ✨
“Are you losing weight?” I hope so because that means Netflix and ice cream is like working out and dieting 💪🏻
