Mercy: I don't believe in sex before marriage. That's my standards. John: Fair enough. Then I don't believe in financial responsibility before marriage. Mercy: That's not the same thing. John: It is, you are preserving intimacy. I'm reserving provision. Mercy: A real man should still take care of his woman. John: A real man commitment unlock real benefits, not sponsorship. Mercy: So you'll just do nothing? John: I will invest where there's agreement, not conditions that only favor you. Mercy: So what the point of dating then? John: To build towards marriage, not to simulate for free. No access before marriage? Then no responsibility before marriage either. Men who are not yet married, adopt John's mindset and you will not suffer in dating.

Most married men are sexually starved and they are suffering. Yesterday I had a coversation with a sex therapist and he gave me the reasons why so many marriages slowly become completely sexless. ( Married men bookmark this) He said.....

Married men in 1980: -Led their homes with confidence. -Took responsibility seriously. -Protected and provided for their families. -Understood sacrifice and duty. -Didn’t run to social media for validation. Married men in 2026:

I have known my wife for around 15 years in total, first as my girlfriend and then as my wife. In the beginning we had a very good relationship, even during the early years of marriage. But after our first child, things slowly started to change. We began fighting more often, intimacy became difficult, and she often avoided sex. We talked many times, things would improve for maybe a couple of weeks, then go back to the same problems again. At first, I tolerated it because I thought it was related to the stress of becoming a mother for the first time. Then we had our second child about one and a half years ago. Because of my work, I stay away from home for around 4 months at a time and then return home for about 3 months vacation. Even while away, I always tried to stay connected through WhatsApp, video calls, and daily communication. Still, deep inside, I always feared she might be having an affair, although I never had proof. About 4 months ago, things became much worse. When I returned home from work, in the early morning I surprised her without telling her in advance. Her reaction felt strange to me, almost like she was unprepared or nervous. Same day afternoon I suggested we go together to pick up our daughter from school. She seemed uncomfortable and nervous about the idea, but eventually agreed. Later, while I was taking a nap, she went alone without me. When she returned, I asked why she left without me, and she became defensive and anxious. The next day we went together. As we approached the school gate, I noticed her hands shaking badly. Usually there are men sitting in their cars near the gate waiting for their children, and she seemed extremely uncomfortable going near them. She wanted to park far away even though there was space near the entrance. At that moment my suspicions became much stronger. A few days later, I asked her calmly if there was something going on. Immediately she became defensive and said I could check her phone because there was nothing there, even though I had not accused her of anyone specifically. Another thing that affected me deeply happened later. During our first intimacy after I returned home, she strongly hesitated when I did not use protection, which felt unusual to me. Then about three weeks later, I found emergency contraceptive pill packaging in our second car. Apparently our younger child had taken it from her purse and left it on the windshield. After seeing that, I could no longer convince myself that nothing was wrong. I became emotionally disconnected. I stayed calm and never created a huge fight, but inside I completely lost trust. She looked very afraid but kept denying anything happened, saying the pills were just in her purse and meant nothing. For the remaining month before I returned to work overseas, we barely had intimacy, and even when we did, I felt emotionally detached. Now I am abroad again for another 4 months. We no longer communicate directly much. I only call daily to speak with the children. The problem is that I cannot fully prove anything. Her phone is always very clean, and she seems careful. But emotionally I no longer feel trust or desire, and I believe she would never admit anything unless I caught her directly. At this point I honestly do not know what to do. --Frommy Dm, please share your advice for this brother.

Men, whatever you ignore during dating will not magically disappear after marriage. In fact, marriage usually magnifies it. That bad attitude you keep excusing because she is attractive? It will become more exhausting after marriage. The disrespect you keep laughing off as “that’s just how she is”? One day it will turn into daily arguments and resentment. The poor communication, lack of accountability, uncontrolled spending, constant attention-seeking, or emotional instability you are ignoring right now…marriage will not fix those things. Living together full-time only exposes them more. Too many men see red flags clearly during dating but convince themselves that love, time, or marriage will change her. Then years later they are stressed, drained, and wondering where things went wrong. Brother, the signs were there from the beginning. Never date with your eyes only. Pay attention to character, values, discipline, and how she handles pressure.Because choosing the wrong woman can turn your home into the most stressful place on earth.

UNFORTUNATELY, the formula to a healthy marriage is ... 1.Communicating even when you don’t feel like it. 2.Staying loyal even during hard seasons. 3.Apologizing when you are wrong. 4.Controlling your ego during arguments. 5.Continuing to date your spouse after marriage. 6.Learning how to listen instead of always defending yourself. 7.Protecting your marriage from outside opinions. 8.Being patient with each other’s flaws. 9.Solving problems before resentment builds up. 10.Respecting each other even when angry. 11.Spending quality time together without phones. 12.Supporting each other during stressful periods. 13.Keeping intimacy and affection alive. 14.Managing money like a team. 15.Choosing peace over unnecessary drama. 16.Growing together instead of growing apart. 17.Waking up every day and choosing each other again. Strong marriages are built on consistency, maturity, and effort.

My wife finally left me to be with her affair partner, the same man I had been suspecting. The same man she denied with everything she had, even pleading to the heavens, “I swear to God, nothing is going on between us!” Maybe it was for the best that she finally left me. Otherwise, I’d still be drowning in overthinking, questioning whether she was truly cheating. I would’ve remained a fool, believing all her excuses and lies. Or maybe the truth is... I wanted to believe them. Because deep down, despite all the signs, I still wanted to stay with her. It hurts, but I’m glad she made the decision for me. Coach, post it on your timeline let me see what people have to say about it. -- From my Dm, drop some advice for him.

Ask almost any divorced woman why she left her husband, and you'll hear the same story. He drank, he cheated, he was abusive, always the exact same script. At some point, it starts sounding like every single person was escaping hell itself, and they tell it with so much self-pity that you almost feel bad for them, until you start asking uncomfortable questions. Okay, he drank, cheated, and treated you badly. But if he was really such a monster, then why did you marry him in the first place? Why did you have children with him? The answer is always predictable. He used to be caring, ambitious, athletic, supportive, and then he changed. But maybe the real question is, what broke him? How much pressure did you put on him before he escaped into alcohol? How much constant criticism and emotional immaturity did he deal with before silence became easier than explaining himself? You promised to stay through hard times, but the moment things got difficult, you left. Then you labeled it a toxic relationship. The truth is, he probably didn't become a monster overnight. It happened when he no longer had anywhere to put his pain. And if you spent years belittling him, comparing him to others, or humiliating him, don't hide behind the word victim.