Mike Netter(@nettermike):Abdul El-Sayed, a consummate asshole, gave a classless victory speech trashing his GOP opponent, Mike Rogers. “Enjoy your retirement,” he sneered. “May we never have to see the likes of you in Michigan again.” For obvious reasons, he won’t support Chuck Schumer for Senate majority leader. El-Sayed’s toxic behavior is not atypical of grown men who still aren’t tall enough to ride the coolest roller coasters at Cedar Point. (He claims to be 5-foot-9 in shoes.) The senator-elect will soon come face-to-face face-to-crotch with John Fetterman, the 6-foot-8 “ogre” whose head he wants to put “on a pike.” Fetterman, for his part, says he doesn’t know what he did “that has offended the little guy so much.”

2026.11.09 00:33

Abdul El-Sayed, a consummate asshole, gave a classless victory speech trashing his GOP opponent, Mike Rogers. “Enjoy your retirement,” he sneered. “May we never have to see the likes of you in Michigan again.” For obvious reasons, he won’t support Chuck Schumer for Senate majority leader. El-Sayed’s toxic behavior is not atypical of grown men who still aren’t tall enough to ride the coolest roller coasters at Cedar Point. (He claims to be 5-foot-9 in shoes.) The senator-elect will soon come face-to-face face-to-crotch with John Fetterman, the 6-foot-8 “ogre” whose head he wants to put “on a pike.” Fetterman, for his part, says he doesn’t know what he did “that has offended the little guy so much.”

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