Went for a delicious dinner at a fancy steakhouse Waiter asked for a tip afterwards Why would I pay the waiter extra? “Did you cook the food?” I asked. Nope. “Did you acquire the real estate for this location with a subsidiary and then lease it to yourself?“ Nope. “Did you acquire the restaurant in a leveraged buyout? Did you layoff employees when the businesses needed the fat trimmed?” Again, no. I shook my head. I know exactly who deserves the tip. Then I pulled out my checkbook and wrote a check directly to the private equity company that owns the restaurant group. I received a standing ovation as I left Applebees. Later I evicted the waiter from the apartment building I own for missing rent by 37 seconds. I love my life.