When a Japanese person claps and says, "Wow, you use chopsticks so well!" or "Your Japanese is amazing!"—foreigners feel flattered. Stop smiling. You just hit the wall. In Japan, excessive praise is not a compliment. It is a boundary marker. Nobody praises a family member for using a fork. Nobody compliments an insider on knowing the language. You praise a circus bear when it rides a bicycle, because you never expected it to be human. When we tell you your chopsticks skills are miraculous, what we are really saying is: "You are outside the fortress. You will always be outside the fortress. Look how cute you are trying to imitate us." The moment a Japanese person stops complimenting you, stops smiling, and starts treating you like a piece of furniture? Congratulations. That was your initiation.