TIL that the annoying tell of AI text is called a "cataphoric teaser" - the linguistic construction used to create a cheap feeling of suspense. You know:
"Here's the part that nobody tells you..."
"Here's what most people get wrong..."
"The part most people sleep on..."
A decade ago, we knew this as:
"You don't believe what happened next!"
"Doctors hate this one weird trick!"
Alas, we will never escape the dystopia of our own making.