At some point in your adult life, there are certain things that become too embarrassing to indulge in, and at the top of that list is situationships. It is understandable if someone in their early twenties entertains it. They simply don’t know any better. But how are you in your late twenties, or even worse, your thirties, willingly accepting a situationship? There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone you’ve been consistently talking to define what they want with you—or to move along. You are too grown to be indulging in endless small talk. You like someone. You assume they like you back. You’re both having sex, going out, and spending time together. But whenever they post someone else with a flirty caption, or you see them with another person, your chest starts hurting. Yet you can’t question them because there is absolutely nothing defined between both of you. You can’t even get openly jealous because it feels like you have no right to. Do you see what you’re doing to yourself? A lot of you are in situationships simply because of assumptions. Because they talk to you every day, take you out, and are intimate with you, you’ve already concluded that they’re your partner. Then one day, you’ll ask them about someone else, and they’ll dribble you with plenty of logic that, when translated, simply means, “But we’re not in a relationship. Why are you overreacting?” And you know what? They’ll be right. Until they explicitly ask you to be their boyfriend or girlfriend, both of you are just talking. Whether you’re having sex or not is irrelevant. You are hurting yourself because you think asking for clarity is desperation. Ask that uncomfortable question today.