Sassington, M.C.
@MissSassbox
something clever is supposed to go here so you can judge me quickly and now I've ruined it
4.9K Following 88.6K Followers
grandma texted me using a red heart instead of a blue one on election day…..
have to take Chris Rock for who he is.
the comedy game needed him and that's why he continues to remain. they needed a mainstream Black guy who wasn't especially handsome or charming, but was willing to humiliate himself or anyone else for a laugh. one that would immediately shapeshift as soon as a little power or attention was felt. a guy who would thrive on perceived positioning & pats on the back from executives over authentic human connection. he's a necessary evil in that sector and they pay him well to maintain that space.
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don't have to be asleep
(kegels, specific memory recall, breath control, good leg muscle manipulation)
so is everyone else able to orgasm in their sleep/without touching themselves or am i just rlly locked in with my pussy
your sister loves you because in this economy, I wouldn't even risk a rich bf meeting anyone I know
Should I be preparing for WW3 or Christmas,
because I dont have the budget for both. FFS
the pinky ring is fighting for its life
When to be alarmed about swollen hands: As the King's puffy digits spark concern in the Caribbean, GP reveals the causes - and signs you should seek help for 'sausage fingers'
check to see how much you can save on your car insurance
What the fuck you even supposed to do with your hands while you’re getting your pussy sucked ?????
the chicken going "shhh" is KILLING me
my job made me mad so i put an entire rotisserie chicken in my purse and walked out
You grand theft oughta go to the polls today
the US:
Trump Says He Will Move to Israel to Become Prime Minister If U.S. Turns on Him
The genius about this skit is that it can’t be made unless he’s actually seen psych wards irl lmaooo and he ain’t lie one bit
Millennials realizing they’ve lived through 2 economic recessions, 9/11, a global pandemic, 8 stock market crashes, their jobs being replaced by AI, and probably WW3 before hitting 43
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it's NYC, so it will be shutdown or have a Michelin star within the next six months
A 'restaurant' in New York is going viral for serving steak out of an apartment window using a pulley system
It's called "Some Guy's House" and is only open for 3 hours on Thursdays and Fridays
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Alexis Stone recreates Glenn Close’s look at the “All’s Fair” Season 2 premiere.
we literally do not have time for this
🚨 #BREAKING#: >24 earthquakes strike near San Andrea Fault.
y'all think it's a game, been alternating between Railroad Daddy monologue edits and Senator Shoulder Meat sizzle reels for the past hour with aromatherapy, my brain needs this journey
if this was the late 90s, we would've gotten an all-star NFL edition of Celebrity Deathmatch with Troy Aikman and Joe Buck trying to end each other with elite player cameos
Troy Aikman: “Lord, give me the strength to deal with Joe Buck’s bitch ass tonight.”
you sat on this for eight years and i'm ready to knock his sunglasses off the bridge of his nose for doing this to you right now, idc
This is where I share that I was so excited when I met 2 Chainz back in 2018. I asked for a pic and was thanking him, saying I was such a fan, and he said, "Don't nobody wanna hear all that shawty," and took a picture so dry I immediately deleted it.
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we've gone all these years watching the Claus family have a happy home and now this 💔
Chlöe announces new single ‘MRS CLAUS DON'T HAVE 2 KNOW’ out this Friday.
manifesting for tonight's REM sleep
