I had a crazy social experience Thursday night
I was at a semi-professional gathering. Someone, I’ll call him Notable Writer (NW), walked up to me in front of several other people and said hi.
Context: Our last interaction was several years ago, during the period I was (or perceived myself as) “very canceled,” - and from my perspective he was notably cruel to me. The following is mostly not direct quotes but is paraphrased, because I was overwhelmed while this conversation was happening and cannot remember exact details.
NW: “Lydia I haven’t talked to you in years! Hi how are you”
Me: “we haven’t talked in years because you were a giant asshole to me!”
NW: “what?”
Me: (literally shaking) “I can’t believe you’re even talking to me right now”
(I don’t think I raised my voice, but the force of my anxiety and anger was so strong, it radiated off me. A couple of onlookers literally backed away and found something else to do)
NW: “what? what are you talking about? When was I mean to you? Where? If it was public that doesn’t count. People argue in public all the time”
Me: “what??? You were so mean to me - PRIVATELY! In Twitter DMs!! IT WAS MY LOWEST POINT AND YOU WERE SO MEAN TO ME”
NW: “I don’t remember this at all”
Me: “LOOK AT YOUR DMS THEN”
NW: (looks at his DMs)
NW: “… okay yeah I was mean. I’m sorry”
Me: (in shock)
NW: “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. Honestly I was just scared of getting dragged into the situation you were in, so I pushed you away.”
Me: “honestly that’s understandable! it was a very scary situation! I didn’t like being in it either.”
NW: “I never said anything bad about you publicly, you know”
Me: “I know. I really appreciate that.”
(We hug)
…
Here’s what blows my mind about this. When NW and I had this interaction over DMs in 2024, I cycled on that interaction for days. Maybe weeks??? I felt SO HURT
I was so hurt, it never even occurred to me that the interaction was unimportant to him. That he just… forgot
I feel like there’s some Moral of the Story here about reconciliation but I’m not sure what it is 😹