Gun to your head choose 1: Bitcoin maxi girlfriend > worried Saylor owns too much BTC supply > checks STRC and treasury holdings 20 times a day > gets excited whenever bitcoin pumps but pretends not to care > only happy when restaurant supports Lightning Network > full cyberpunk mode and scared of digital footprints > spends too much time on 4chan bitcoin threads > forces you to run a bitcoin node at home > uses every possible trick to avoid taxes > sells every gift you buy her for more BTC stores everything straight into cold wallet > calls every coin you buy trash Hyperliquid maxi girlfriend > Jeff tweet carousel hanged in bedroom > forces you to wear Lululemon, shorts and flip flops buys all your clothes though > “put .hl in your name or we breakup” > can’t stop talking how Hyperliquid and TradeXYZ will change finance > gives life advice starting with “If it were Jeff..” > blocks out 2hrs daily just to replyguy HL community on twitter > sees Binance tweet and instantly starts hate replying says “Hyperliquid” at least once every 30 minutes > only invites the HL community to wedding