Elon Musk is the only man who can announce a flying car and somehow make you feel broke for driving a Toyota 😭
posting "God got me" after you did some evil spiteful shit won't save you from the karma coming your way
if you got a problem with me just keep it to yourself cause i genuinely do not give a fuck
aunties can smell a secret before u even take ur coat off
some babies come out looking like they already got three kids twins
you see that one girl with no makeup for the first time
raccoons move like they got warrants in three counties
my boss said we a family. cool which one of y’all paying rent
uber drivers miss one turn then act like y’all in it together
grandparents can turn one sandwich into a story about the economy
first dates just two ppl lying about how often they cook
this the type of food that make u moan then look around like somebody heard 😭
PSA The Supreme Court just outlawed smelling Marijuana as a just cause for searching your cars! Since Marijuana is now legal in most states it was ruled unconstitutional!
If we smoking & you bring up aliens and shit, we smoking again ong😂
if my girl had a bad, i'll take the earth with my bare hands and spin it in reverse to restart the day
