Please, I beg you if you’re in this industry, please share your location with anyone you trust and if you don’t have anyone, you can trust share it with me. I will guard it with my life. It’s very important that people know you are OK. Anything can happen.
I just released a new video with Lucy Mochi & Peter Fox on Pornhub a few days ago, I released a new gonzo with Jak last week on my fan sites, and I just had 2 releases from Brazzers.
I have 10 scenes scheduled over the next 2 weeks! 🩵🩵
Also to be clear AGAIN NO IM NOT ON A BREAK LOL!!!! It’s not the work that has me stressed, it’s life. Work is the only thing keeping me stable right now, to be honest.😂😂
I’m back to work tomorrow for something you’ve been asking for, for a very long time and I’m very excited.
God. I try not to vent too much on here but I’m really struggling right now just with stress, pressure, life. (This is probably tmi.)
I took a big break off in July & didn’t shoot other than social media content for about 4 weeks, which was really good for me. (You probably didn’t even notice which was the goal! I pre-film so I’m able to do this.)
I came back excited and ready to work and was working for about 5 days until early last week when I faced a really scary health issue (I found out I have a really horrible allergy to a medication that resulted in my entire body & inside my mouth breaking out in PAINFUL hives & my entire body shutting down) I just started feeling 80% better today, but I’ve definitely lost some stamina and am still feeling weak which isn’t something I’m used to. I also work really really hard to maintain my body and keep muscle and I lost a bit of weight which I don’t feel very good about.
Because of the break and then the health issue I’m just so behind in work, getting back to people, I had to reschedule a ton of shoots which means now I’m working double overtime, I feel so much pressure to be this perfect and beautiful sexy person and to be a perfect friend and react to things perfectly and be a perfect wife and a perfect family member and be able to handle all of this with strength like I always do, and I am so happy to have so many people who rely on me to be stable, but I’m stretched so thin right now it feels impossible
I’m just trying to get through this day by day.
I love my job more than anything but I don’t think people know what it takes very often and how so much of it also involves perception and interpersonal relationships and balancing things and my usual bubbly happy self feels so drained and there’s nothing I can do to control it other than keep a smile on my face and try to keep filling my life with happiness.