Big Timi
@OrevaZSN
I have an entire universe in my head
4 Following 47.9K Followers
Remember when the hyenas realised all the promises Scar made to them were lies, and he’d destroyed every semblance of normalcy and stability, so they turned around and ate him? Just pointing that out for absolutely no reason at all.
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why aren’t the robots working in the mines and oil fields and handling toxic chemicals or picking plastic out of the ocean? why are they writing emails and making powerpoint presentations? what the hell are we doing
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YouTube going nearly two decades without a serious rival is the most insane level of dominance we’ve ever seen on the internet.
“Disney+ will now have ads on every plan.”
You know what? Where the hell is my DVD player? I’m ready to go back to buying movies, owning them forever, and watching them in peace.
It’s funny how 5 consecutive days off is a “long holiday”, but 5 consecutive days of work is just a “normal workweek”. Apparently, only rest can be excessive in corporate.
I hate the “WFH is depressing” talk. What’s actually depressing is 2 unpaid hours of commuting every day, getting home already exhausted, and having 4 hours left for cooking, sleeping, and getting ready to do it all again.
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Why do retired people go to the hospital on Saturdays? I’m genuinely confused. You have all week now. Why are you still scheduling appointments on the one day people with jobs actually have off?
It’s easier to find a needle in a haystack than the email you got last week in Outlook.
What’s the point of paying a monthly Prime Video subscription if I still have to pay extra to rent or buy half the movies I actually want to watch? I need answers, expeditiously. I’ll be damned if I’m paying to rent a movie from 1995.
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When someone says “that was 20 years ago,” my brain immediately goes “oh, the ’80s.” Then they say “2006” and I have to sit down because WHAT DO YOU MEAN 2006 WAS 20 YEARS AGO???
I genuinely don’t understand how eating breakfast can make me hungry again an hour later, but if I skip breakfast entirely, I can somehow go the whole day without thinking about food. How does that even make sense?
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What’s actually insane about Outlook is that you can paste an email word for word into the search bar five minutes after sending it, and this piece of shit will say, “No results found.” Brother, YOU sent the email. Who the fuck are you looking for???
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There’s always that one Uber driver you have a random conversation with who somehow changes your entire perspective on life.
I need one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid good money for responding to one email a day, keep my laptop on, attend one pointless meeting a week, and spend the rest of my time looking busy. Where can I get one of those?
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Me: “Can you please print this black-and-white document?”
My printer: “Whilst my cyan is empty? Bro, you sound completely insane right now.”
I love how Outlook deletes meeting emails the moment I hit accept. It’s a genius idea, because obviously I’ll never need the agenda, Zoom link, meeting details, or literally anything else from that email again. Truly incredible software.
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If generative AI disappeared today, Google would have decent search again, I wouldn’t have to check every viral wildlife video for AI, bots would stop replying to tweets with nonsense, scam emails would drop off, and the internet would get insanely better for everyone.
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Exaggerate your resume. Sell yourself in the interview. Google everything once you get the job. Your boss is probably winging it too. Have your friend pretend to be your old manager and give you a glowing reference. Lie on LinkedIn. Just lie.
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You CANNOT work full time, hit the gym 5X a week, keep your home spotless, show up for family, have hobbies, maintain a social life, hit every KPI, meal prep, have a perfect body, and still have anything left for yourself. The propaganda is bullshit. Free yourself from it.
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People who post on LinkedIn about how much they love their corporate career genuinely terrify me. Like you wake up excited to answer emails and join meetings??? What is wrong with you???
