It’s not every day I read something that physically chokes me up. But today is that day.
@TheIronGod2 sent me a message explaining the other side of the foster care system. The people who actually want to make a difference. He read my posts and told a story of his own, as a foster parent.
To say it is bittersweet is an understatement. And anyone who makes it to the end will hardly have a dry eye. But he and his family are the best of what the human condition has to offer. 👇
“Hey Sir. I just wanted to reach out and say thank you for sharing you story about the foster care system and your families struggles.
I come from the opposite side of things with foster care, but I fully understand your experience.
I dropped out of high school and joined the Australian army at 17. As the son of a boat builder it seemed a weird choice, but it was something I had wanted to do since I was a young teen.
It wasn't until I finished basic that my father told me that my grandfather (who had died before I was born) was a SGT in the NZ Army and fought in Korea. He came home with some demons, and after a stint in jail, drank himself to death.
I was a Rifleman for the first 2 years of my service, transferred a couple of times to other rolls, and now after 30 years in, I'm a WO2 running a workshop in a Calvary Regiment.
The foster care bit started 23 years ago. My wife had spent some time in care when she was early teens, and even though we had 3 kids of our own, she wanted to become a carer. I was hesitant at first, but then it was like Isaiah 6:8. A voice said "who will I send to care for them?" and we answered.
So, we have cared for and loved every child that has come into our home.
Nine years ago, we had a young girl by the name of Thamey come into our care. She had Cerebral palsy alongwhen a host of other medical challenges that meant she would never be able to care for herself.
It was that her family didn't want her or had abused her, they simply didn't have the ability to meet her care needs.
When she turned 18, she was no longer a ward of the state. We were told they would find a nursing home for her to live in and that our job in caring and loving her was over.
We fought this and went to court to become her legal adult guardians, and she remained with us as our daughter.
In February, we found out that Thamey was in early stages of heart failure. Unfortunately due to her disability there wasn't anything that could be done.
She was in hospital for her 21st birthday. We snuck in some champagne for her to taste.
She passed away on Friday night.
Of all the things I have done in my life, being a father to children in care has been the most challenging, but also the most rewarding thing I will ever do.
People still ask me why I'm raising other people's kids. My response is "Someone has to do it, and if not me than who?"”
***I hope the world sees this, far and wide. Please share to honor these people, and the late Thamey who as of Friday night, is no longer with us***
The Darkness of Massachusetts: Another Personal Story
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. And maybe how violence against children in MA isn’t anything new. And perhaps the state taking kids away is a knee jerk from a larger issue.
You people keep asking about me and this situation, it goes deeper. And I guess I’ll share it. But it’s not for the weak.
The Lindsey Clancy case captured national attention with her killing her 3 kids. Well, both of my parents had THEIR parents try to kill them as well.
When my Dad was 6, his father came home drunk one day and tried throwing him off the third story of a triple decker outside Boston. The reason? Because he thought my dad was defective because he had cerebral palsy. My aunts interdicted and saved my dad. That’s when the state took him away and put him in foster care.
My mom was just a baby when her mother desperately asked the woman who I refer to as “Nana” to take her in. She was clearly on drugs and not well, but at least had the good sense to give my mom away to someone safer.
Anyway, my Nana knew this woman was not well. But she apparently cleaned her act up and came by the house everyday for a few weeks. The woman wanted to just hold my mom one time. She made it seem like she was being genuine.
Finally my Nana relented and let her hold her for a sec. The woman immediately tried taking my tiny 9 month old mom and smashing her to death against the wall. Obviously my Nana intervened and stopped her before any serious damage was done.
So yea, both my parents were almost killed by their parents, in Massachusetts. Out of my mom, dad, and sister, I’m the only one that wasn’t taken away from my family by the state or whoever.
I consider myself blessed and lucky. But I’ve been thinking about it alot lately. Perhaps more of an insight into why I am the way that I am.
I am grateful we are all still here. I love my family. I am however, deeply horrified about what the state of Massachusetts actually is. What lurks beneath it in terms of energy.
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