Everyone in line at the post office has a weird incredible problem that could never be solved by anyone.
How many mechanical birds am I gonna see on Halloween
I keep thinking about how people worked hard at their jobs all day long to give the google maps navigation robot voice vocal fry
Health insurance, 401ks, planning a funeral are nothing in comparison to the adulthood sadness of telling your own self you're not getting ice cream because you have ice cream at home
My dentist started calling me "Bud."
It finally happened. I saw a shirt I really wanted and it was for dogs.
I would only sell this handle for seven figures
I wrote some helpful nutrition advice
"Of course you can still eat other things you enjoy like fruits, pastas, and even brownies. As long as those fruits, pastas, and brownies are made from a slurry of broken-down animal parts and molded into the shapes of those respective foods."
Show more
The haters said I'd never post another stranger's diary video but
Did it hurt? When Moo Deng bit you?
Is it bad that the guy making my chipotle called me a "trooper" because of my order?
I have a very particular set of skills. (Seeing food spilled on the sidewalk and knowing with 100% certainty when it's Chipotle)
I love being in a loud restaurant with bad acoustics because you can say "yum yum yum" out loud and no one will hear you.
I just saw a woman walking down the street with green hair and a black and white striped shirt. Was she going for Beetlejuice or did she have no idea? It kills me that I will never know.
I help my community all the time. I hit one spotted lantern fly with my car.
A chicken? Oh, you mean egg mommy.
Everyone in line at the post office has a weird incredible problem that could never be solved by anyone.
