HUSBAND: "I need to travel tomorrow." WIFE: "Tomorrow? We have the housewarming party on Saturday." HUSBAND: "My best friend died last night." WIFE: "I know. You told me." HUSBAND: "His funeral is on Friday. I need to be there." WIFE: "Can't you go after the party?" HUSBAND: "The funeral is before the party." WIFE: "I understand, but we've been planning this event for weeks. I've invited over sixty people." HUSBAND: "He's been my closest friend since university." WIFE: "And I'm not saying you shouldn't be sad. I'm saying the timing is terrible." HUSBAND: "His wife called me last night. She could barely speak." WIFE: "That's unfortunate." HUSBAND: "I want to help her arrange things. I want to see his children." WIFE: "Your presence won't bring him back."

HUSBAND: "Why did you cancel my mother's flight?" WIFE: "Because I wasn't going to have her staying here for two months." HUSBAND: "You cancelled a ticket I paid for?" WIFE: "I refunded it. You're welcome." HUSBAND: "My mother is coming for surgery. She needs somewhere to recover, and our house has a spare bedroom." WIFE: "And I'm supposed to become her nurse?" HUSBAND: "Nobody asked you to nurse her. She just needs somewhere comfortable to stay." WIFE: "I work full-time. I have a life. I didn't sign up to become responsible for an elderly woman." HUSBAND: "She's my mother." WIFE: "And I'm your wife. Your responsibilities should change when you get married." HUSBAND: "I agree. That's why I discussed it with you three months ago." WIFE: "I never agreed to two months." HUSBAND: "You said she could come." WIFE: "I thought she'd stay in a hotel." HUSBAND: "She's coming from another state. Why would she spend thousands on a hotel when we have an empty room?" WIFE: "Because I don't want her here." HUSBAND: "You had your mother stay with us for six months when she was recovering from her divorce." WIFE: "That's different." HUSBAND: "How?" WIFE: "My mother doesn't interfere in our marriage. She doesn't criticize my cooking or complain about everything." HUSBAND: "My mother has barely spent three days in this house." WIFE: "And those three days were enough."

HUSBAND: "Why did you tell the contractor to remove my name from the house documents?" WIFE: "Because I don't want complications if we ever separate." HUSBAND: "Separate? We've been married for eight years." WIFE: "And I want to protect what belongs to me." HUSBAND: "I paid for the land, financed the construction and have been paying the mortgage." WIFE: "But the house is in my name." HUSBAND: "Because you insisted we register it that way when we got married." WIFE: "Exactly. So what's the problem?" HUSBAND: "You want to remove me from a property I've spent eight years paying for?" WIFE: "You are my husband. Why are you worried about whose name is on a piece of paper?" HUSBAND: "Because you just said you wanted to protect yourself in case we separated." WIFE: "You're making this sound like I'm planning to divorce you." HUSBAND: "Then why are you removing my name?" WIFE: "Women have to be smart. Look at what happens to women who trust men blindly."

I told my husband he was being dramatic when he complained that I had given his car to my younger brother for three months. He kept asking why I didn't discuss it with him first. Honestly, I didn't see the big deal. My brother needed a car to get to work, and my husband had another one. I thought it was a perfectly reasonable arrangement. HUSBAND: "So when exactly is your brother returning my car?" WIFE: "Why are you asking me? He's still using it." HUSBAND: "I gave him two weeks. It's been three months." WIFE: "He hasn't found another car yet." HUSBAND: "That's not my problem." WIFE: "Wow. He's your brother-in-law." HUSBAND: "And it's my car." WIFE: "You have two cars. Why are you making this difficult?" HUSBAND: "Because I bought both of them with my money. I didn't buy one for your brother." WIFE: "You are so selfish sometimes." HUSBAND: "I asked him to return my car. How is that selfish?" WIFE: "He's trying to get his life together. You should be happy to help." HUSBAND: "I helped him for three months." WIFE: "And now you're acting like he's stolen something." HUSBAND: "He has received two parking tickets, damaged the bumper and hasn't paid for the last tank of fuel." WIFE: "Those are small things. Why are you making a list?"