Maximus Textoris Pulcher
@MaximusTPulcher
Maximus Textoris Pulcher, Chief Mouser to the Prime Minister of Belgium
Scottish Fold
Wetstraat 16
Spin doctor / copy cat / Parody account
Veni, vidi, felixi
60 Following 5.2K Followers
We didn’t rob the bank. We performed an intervention.
Maximus Textoris Pulcher & Jan Jambon, professional Savings Whisperers™
Madame is back. Airplane is up. I am expected to look amazed again. Why does this woman bring aviation toys into the salon every Thursday?
To the previous owner of this “Roomba”: your unauthorized vehicle has been seized by the Crown. The Royal Roomba is now my preferred mode of transport for all state affairs, including judging the servants, napping mid-patrol, and launching surprise attacks on the laundry basket.
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One year ago I walked into this office. Today I still own the best chair, the best lighting, and the Prime Minister. Some call it politics. I call it natural hierarchy. #MaximusAnniversary#
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Official statement: I am now worth exactly twenty euros. This is both a financial and spiritual upgrade. Please deposit all remaining mice, snacks, and political favours directly into my personal vault. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 🐈💶
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Ten selected design proposals for the next series of euro banknotes have been unveiled.
Explore the proposals and tell us which ones you prefer.
Have your say
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Socialists assume that the accordion hours are off the table. Meanwhile Maximus Textoris Pulcher is already doing his part in practicing his hours. While politicians negotiate 10 billion, this legend is squeezing bellows and destroying eardrums for the greater good. 🪗
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Spain scores! Argentina fights back! Meanwhile I shared a bucket of mussels with the Muscles from Brussels himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme. 💪🐱🍤#MusselsWithMaximus# #VanDammeEatsMussels#
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In Het Wassalon podcast they asked why a cat needs a kingdom: I've seen coalition negotiations. Absolute clown show. I need sovereign territory so I can veto belly rubs, declare every box my embassy, and exile the Roomba. A cat's gotta be himself, preferably as Supreme Overlord.
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Just wrapped up a high-level diplomatic summit with Bill White and His Majesty the King (of Belgium). I also caught a mouse.
😺🇨🇦🇧🇪 @MaximusTPulcher has spoken!
Looking for flexi-jobbers draining my kingdom's finances. #MaximusI#
The lasagneconclaaf was child's play. Today I oversaw the mosselpotakkoord in our Brussels kitchen — white wine in paw, mussels in the pot, and zero leaks. Those shells opened smoother than a sunbeam on the counter. Purrfection achieved. 🐱🍷🦪 #MosselPotAkkoord#
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Bart stopped providing me tuna pâté because the Red Devils lost. This is unacceptable. I think I will go independent on the Red Devils commentary. 🐱
Ben Weyts took already my balls, today he’s charging me €100 for a vignette on my carriage. This is some next-level Flemish psychological warfare on a cat. Even the N-VA chairman’s cat isn’t safe from Bens mobility policy. #CastratedAndTaxed🚗😿#
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Just saw the Benelux delegation open their gifts from President Erdoğan mid-flight. A beige tote with a purple box, and inside... a BIG revolver. The Luxembourg guy is already spinning his revolver like a cowboy. The plane is now basically an armory with snacks. 🛫🔫
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@hakicelebi I quit smoking last year when Bart adopted me.
Just closed a MAJOR deal with the Netherlands
@DilanYesilgoz on behalf of my human @Bart_DeWever and @FranckenTheo. We’re buying NASAMS, SkyRanger, and fancy radars together. Those birds better start paying rent for Flemish airspace or I’m launching the paw patrol. #pawpatrol#
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@hakicelebi I quit smoking last year when Bart adopted me.
