Idk, whenever I get home from the bar, my gf seems really angry.
My husband went to renew his passport and got denied because of a large child support balance. The baby was 2. Weโd been together for 4 years. ๐ญ
I was in a Call of Duty party chat with a bunch of guys I went to the same college with. I didnโt know everyone that well. One of them starts talking about a girl he hooked up with that weekend. I was out of town. He says her name and describes her, and thatโs how I found out. ๐คฃ๐คฃ I wish I made that up. Iโll never forget that shit.
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Being intimate with a man scares me a lot because of my flat chest.
what do you prefer more: a guy admiring you from a far with his eyes / actually coming up and talking to you? What makes each approach appealing ?
For women with very small or flat chests: Did you eventually become more comfortable with your body during intimacy?
Whats the best part of marriage for you?
What makes you ask if a man is married or not?
Over the past 3 weeks, Iโve been asked by various women (single and married) 10+ times. Iโm just wondering what prompts you to ask?
Knowing I should be attracted to boys my own age, but I just canโt stop liking men old enough to be my dad ๐ชฝ
hate โhow old are youโ ask how wet i am instead.
One funny thing about adulthood is that nobody will ask you if youโve eaten this morning. If youโre lucky, maybe you have a rich parent. ๐ญ
Whoโs gonna let me sit on their lap and grind against their bulge while we kiss slowly?
Overheard at the thrift store:
โStop trying to hold my hand, people are going to think weโre lesbians.โ
โWe are lesbians.โ
โYeah but not with each other.โ
โOk, but weโre stillโgod, why are you so stupid?โ
โDunno. Why do you want to hold hands with a stupid person?โ
โI donโt.โ
โEvidence to the contrary.โ
(Mocking voice) โOooh evidence to the contrary.โ (Normal voice) โsuch a fuckinโ smartass.โ
โOh Iโm smart, now? Thought I was stupidโ
*Slap fight ensues*
Anyway, I hope they figure out theyโre in love soon.
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I reached a point where I can't stand watching a series or a movie with love in it when the love is the main central theme of the story. It feel emotionless, predictable and boring. Most of the time there is not even any chemistry between the main cast.... It's just frustrating having to force yourself to finish something that has no real soul in it ๐ฅ.
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My wife asked me: "Do you know what day our daughter's school concert is?"
I said: "No, when is it?"
She said: "Exactly."
Unpopular opinion: Hood cousins are necessary for a suburban kids development.
Core teen memory is the only time my Dad was trustrated about my bad grades he threatened to send me to Sacred Heart (all girls catholic school) so I wouldn't have "distractions"
My Mother's response? "No distractions? She's GAY."
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Being a flight attendant is wild because I pick up trips based on what I need at the moment running low on wine and olive oil? Italy. Butter? Paris. Shea butter and black soap? Ghana. Need a self care day w/ facials, massages and a wax? Brazil. The list goes on
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After SEX, the male brain secretes one HORMONE and it explains WHY a man wants to be alone.
Nothing makes me want to go to sleep faster than my cat coming and curling up on my pillow. Like, yes, little baby I will cuddle you until we both are asleep.