So the topic of holidays came up and everyone was talking about their favourite holiday destination and I said Center Parks (never knew it was spelt that way until like 5 mins ago lol). Someone in my team who is going next week asked me the last time I went was and I said when I was 15. They asked how can it be my favourite holiday destination and I said well I loved it and it's the last place I went on holiday. My team looked at me like I'd just shat on the floor 😂.

My best friend’s girlfriend texted me asking what time he left my place Saturday night. Problem is, he was never at my place. Apparently he told her we were playing poker and having drinks here. I called him before answering her and he basically said please just cover for me and that he’ll explain later. I asked where he actually was and he refuses to tell me, which obviously makes this look way worse.

A woman calls her husband at work and asks, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your back, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" He says, "God, no." And she says, "Um... how about now?"

I overheard a barber and a teenage boy who was getting a haircut. Barber: Kids saying you have a "gay accent" just because you don't sound like James Earl Jones when you speak is fucked up. I'm sorry bruh. For the record, you sound like any other white boy to me. No shade. Your haters though. Shiiiiiiiit. They sound like they're projecting. Other barber: I know n\*ggaz who sound like James Earl Jones and they're gay as fuck. Just sayin'. Teenage boy: Who's James Earl Jones? Barber: BRO. The Lion King. Mufasa motherfucker. Teenage boy: Is he in the old one or the new one? Barber: Both bro! The original animated classic from the 90s AND the Nat Geo version for all you Gen Z motherfuckers. Other barber: He was Darth Vader too. Dude loved playing roles where he dies in front of his son.

A power company shut off the power to a family in North Carolina after they made a partial payment, and they all died. This includes a little child, and 3 dogs. They died of a potential carbon monoxide poisoning… according to CBS17. They were running a generator to survive in the heat. They owed the town of Rocky Mount $2,000. They were behind a payment so a full payment was needed to turn it back on. They paid a partial payment ($1000) the electrical company didn’t turn it back on.… ⬇️

My husband & I got married in my parents livingroom as I was having some health issues & didn’t have insurance, so we got married before our previously planned date so I could get on his work insurance, a family member excitedly offered to make us a cake.

I had a friend who always seemed to be going through something. Whenever she needed money, I helped. Whenever she needed someone to listen, I stayed on the phone. If she needed a ride somewhere, I rearranged my plans. I never complained because I believed that's what friends were for. One month, she called me crying because she was struggling financially. She asked if I could lend her some money and promised to return it the following week. I sent it. The following week came. Nothing. I waited another week before asking about it. She said, “I'm sorry, things are still difficult. I'll sort it out soon.” I told her it was okay. Then I noticed something. She had posted pictures from an expensive restaurant. I didn't say anything. A few days later, she posted herself shopping. That's when I realized the problem wasn't that she couldn't pay me back. She simply didn't think paying me back was important.

I spent almost two years helping my boyfriend build the life he kept telling me was “ours.” I paid the rent. Bought the groceries. Covered his phone bill. Even paid for his car insurance when he said things were tight. Every time I asked when he’d start contributing, he’d kiss my forehead and say, “Once things get better.”

This isn’t a pretty story, but it’s the one that made me who I am. When I was 19, I thought losing people was the worst thing that could happen to me. Then I lost almost everyone at once. Not because I betrayed anyone. Not because I did something terrible. I simply chose myself for the first time. And apparently, some people only loved me when I was easy to control. My closest friend looked at me and said, You’ve changed. I whispered, I’m just tired. She shrugged. You’re selfish now. I never forgot those words.

I was sitting next to a couple on a flight yesterday when the woman quietly told her boyfriend, “I need you to stop telling people you ‘help’ with the kids.” He looked confused. “I do help.” She laughed. “You babysit your own children.”

My boss called me into his office on Friday. Boss: “Why did you approve this payment?” Me: “Because you signed the approval.” Boss: “I never signed that.” I opened the email. His name was right there. Approved by: Daniel Carter, Finance Director. He stared at the screen. Boss: “Well, you should have known better.” Me: “So… your signature means nothing?” He didn’t answer.

The hardest part of telling people I’m AUTISTIC/ADHD is watching them instantly start treating me like I’m fragile or less capable, when all I wanted was for them to stop assuming I’m being difficult on purpose.