I just realized that having parents who pick you up on your first and last day of college is a privilege.
having a crush on someone is a lot like microdosing brain damage if u think about it.
Best thing I’m learning about relationships is just enjoy the moments with them. Let it flow, stay in the moment, no one is yours to keep and no one belongs to you.
Disagreements are okay. Disrespect is not. Distance is okay. Disloyalty is not.
I don’t know about you, but my life was perfectly okay before AI.
Getting to know someone new is the best 2 weeks of your life.
Spoiler alert: you’re going to become that friend who “doesn’t work” but somehow makes more money than everyone.
it’s a blessing to be tired from a life you once dreamed of having.
being single only sucks when you’re a little tipsy and really want to flirt.
Using someone’s own word against them after they vented to you is so grimey
I hate how traumatized everyone is from dating. Like it's actually so sad fr.
Sometimes, the pain doesn’t destroy you it rebuilds you. 🖤
When my sister was pregnant, her cat became completely obsessed with the baby. He could somehow tell whenever she moved or kicked, and every time he felt it, he’d curl up against my sister’s belly and start purring.
When she went into labor, he wouldn’t leave her side. Every time she had a contraction, he’d meow and cry like he was trying to coach her through it. While they waited for the ambulance, he even put his paws against her side and gently rubbed her.
Everyone was emotional watching him worry about her.
When she finally came home from the hospital with my niece, he immediately fell in love. He’d snuggle beside the baby, sniff her hair, and make those little happy motor noises. Whenever she cried, he was right there, looking around like he needed to figure out how to help.
If anyone touched the baby, he’d come running over like, “Excuse me, what exactly are you doing with MY child?” 😂
He’d even alert everyone whenever she woke up or started making little baby noises.
That cat wasn’t just a pet. He was her best friend, protector, and furry big brother for 14 beautiful years.
Love and miss you forever, Bud. ❤️🐾
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Has anyone else realized there’s nothing good to watch on Twitter porn anymore? 😭
A stoner rubs a bong and a genie comes out, offering three wishes.
The stoner says, "ok for my first wish, I want a six inch joint." And poof! A joint appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together.
"For my second wish, I want a 12 inch blunt!" And poof! A blunt appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together.
"Ok now for my third wish, I want an 18 inch monster roll with a THC-concentrate core!" And poof! The biggest blunt you've ever seen appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together.
Finally the genie gets up and slowly starts to stagger away. Then he stops, turns his head, and with a stoney grin says, "ok man, one more wish"
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Do pornstars actually enjoy sex while at it or it’s just acting?
The autistic experience of miscommunicating with someone also autistic, to the point where a third autistic needs to chime in, to regulate the both of you.
One time my roommate was reading a horror mystery. He got halfway through, got so scared he threw the book into the sea. I bought the exact same copy, soaked it in seawater, and slipped it back into his drawer.
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We started with nothing more than a simple “hi,” and somehow you became my good mornings, my “drive safe,” my “text me when you get home,” and my “see you in my dreams.” Somewhere along the way, you became my person.
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My favorite part of concerts is when the lead singer announces what city they are in and everyone goes nuts
