To all the beautiful women working hard, going to school, grinding online and offline... long hours, tired nights, early mornings, and big dreams. That grind is precious, baby. Keep pushing. 💪🏾🔥 I salute you, because these days, way too many women get celebrated simply for having a pretty face, a big butt, and ZERO ambition. Keep building. Keep becoming. 👑

My mom thought my childhood cat had autism and took him to the vet, turns out he was deaf This is my childhood cat, Simba. He is 17 years old and when I was little my mom (now deceased) was convinced he had autism because in her own words “he just doesn’t seem right and I am worried”. I went with her to the vet appointment and sat there and waited with her for the vet to show up. Vet shows up and asks why we are there and she word for word said “I think he has autism, what are our next steps” Vet did a full exam and told her “he’s just deaf” We left the appointment and I won’t forget how embarrassed my mom was and she dead ass turned to this cat in his carrier and said “I know you can’t hear me but you embarrassed me” 😭 Now he lives with me since her passing. He’s a sweet boy who sometimes bites my wife, but he’s a sweet boy. 💕

In Jr High My dad got a middle school math teacher to retire the same day I told him she kept calling our class stupid. It started as a joke, apparently. Whenever someone got a problem wrong, she’d sigh and say, “You people are stupid. How did any of you make it to this grade?” Nobody said anything. We’d just look at each other and stay quiet. One afternoon, my dad noticed I was unusually quiet and asked what happened. I told him, “My math teacher keeps calling us stupid.” He put his phone down. “She calls you what?” I repeated it. He stood up. “Give me her name.”

Maybe I’m supposed to feel guilty because we’re married. But I keep coming back to one question: if my husband truly believes his brother will pay the money back, why is he asking me to risk the house my mother left me instead of risking something of his own? At this point, I honestly don’t know whether I’m married to a husband or a man who thinks my inheritance is his emergency fund.

He called me selfish. Now he’s telling his family that I’m refusing to help even though I have “property just sitting there.” I told him I would rather disappoint his brother than sell the last thing my mother left me for someone else’s debt.

Then I asked him, “If you’re so sure he’ll pay it back, why don’t you take a loan in your own name?” He went quiet. Then he said, “Because the bank won’t give me that much.” I looked at him and said, “So you want to risk my house because the bank won’t risk your money?”

I asked him, “Why would I sell my mother’s house to pay your brother’s debt?” He got annoyed. “Because we’re married. His problem affects our family too.” I reminded him that the house belonged to me before we got married and that once I sold it, I could never get that piece of my mother back. He said his brother had promised to pay us back within two years.

My husband wants me to sell the small house my mother left me to pay off his brother’s debt. He says he’ll “pay me back.” I asked him one question, and he went silent. The house isn’t fancy. It’s a small two-bedroom place my mother bought years ago. After she died, she left it to me. I rent it out, and the little income helps me financially. My husband knows how much that house means to me. Last week, he came home and said, “Your brother is in serious trouble. We need to help him.” I asked how much. Almost $30,000. I actually laughed because I thought he was joking. Then he said, “If you sell the house, we can clear his debt. I’ll make sure you get your money back.”

HE REFUSED, as I knew he would. That was the beginning of how I exposed his damaging behavior. The court had enabled him up until that point. Then things shifted. He told me he would share interim custody of the kids, trying to keep me in NJ. I refused and left to Hawaii. I eventually returned to NJ to continue to fight for my kids. By then, his collapse was well underway. He hated that he was saddled in responsiblity while I was out living my best life.

I realized something back then: His only goal was to hurt me and nothing he was doing had anything to do with the kids. That realization changed everything. I left NJ to Hawaii and told him I was moving on with my life. I told him I was prepared to sign the settlement agreement that would give him everything.

This is why women are screaming: GIVE HIM THEM KIDS. I remember the first time I told my ex he could have full custody of our kids and I would pay him child support in front of our court mediator. We were about 4 years into a protracted custody battle that cost me so much time and money. He had accused me of kidnapping. Refused to let me see my kids. He watched them scream and cry and beg to be with me and didn't care.