@fw_bigdog Unmatched skill😁
Smoke some weed
Save the bees
Plant more trees
Clean the seas titties😄
Sorry I just finished smoking weed😎
Smoke some weed
Save the bees
Plant more trees
Clean the seas titties😄
Sorry I just finished smoking weed😎
phone on dnd, 63 unread texts, low battery. Of course I’m having a good time
I don't need anything extravagant. I want someone who kisses me when I'm annoyed, lets me cry without making me feel embarrassed, brings me pizza, watches horror movies with me, and holds my hand even when it's sweaty.
Someone who lets me steal their hoodies, laughs at the same ridiculous things I do, makes me feel beautiful on my worst days, and stays gentle with me even when I struggle to let myself be loved.
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The student didn’t create the mistake. The university did. Asking her to somehow predict an error their own systems failed to catch for four years is wild
My junior sister called me crying so hard I could barely understand what she was saying.
When she finally caught her breath, she said, "They just told me I might never graduate."
I thought she'd failed a class.
I was wrong.
Her university had just emailed to say there'd been a software glitch during her admission.
For almost four years, her tuition had never actually been charged.
Every semester, her student portal showed "Paid."
She registered her courses.
She sat her exams.
She renewed her enrollment.
No warnings. No holds. No unpaid balance.
Now she's one semester away from graduating.
The university says she owes nearly four years of tuition and won't release her degree until it's paid.
And then…
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Ngl if you get caught smoking weed by your parents the most gangsta shit you could do in that moment is to stand on that shit
My roommate has this unhinged talent.
The second my key turns in the door, no matter if it’s 2pm or 2am, that man is already power-walking to the bathroom like his life depends on it.
I’m still taking my shoes off and I can hear the shower starting...
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When I turned eighteen, my older sister bought me my first car. She was working as a junior paralegal and had been saving for months, so I expected something decent. Instead, she handed me the keys to a beat-up 2004 Honda Civic with faded blue paint and a manual transmission that popped out of third gear. I was secretly disappointed. She made good money. I figured she'd found the cheapest junker she could and called it a birthday present...
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Me working as a customer service agent:
"Ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold"
Sometimes the thought of saying “God knows I have tried” comes to my mind but I always fight it
Neurodivergent loneliness isn’t always about being alone.
Sometimes it’s about being in a room full of people who are speaking a slightly different language.
I miss how I was before I let this love shit get in my head..
Bitch will stay with a nigga that beat her up maltreat her cause of good lasting dck
This is all I need for dinner 🍽️.
Is it too much to ask for? 🤔
I went to visit Waggy today, tru tru wetin he do no good at all
The fastest way to ruin your mood is to check something you already knew you shouldn’t have checked.
the algorithm knows me better than my therapist and honestly that’s the scary part.
Nothing gets my house clean faster than knowing someone’s about to come over.
