1/5 The Neurochemistry of the "Spark"
When a man experiences true attraction, his brain releases a massive spike of dopamine and norepinephrine.
Norepinephrine stimulates the production of adrenaline.
This triggers the literal physical sensation of "butterflies"—a racing heart, sweaty palms, and a nervous stomach.
For six years of marriage, I believed my mother-in-law disliked my cooking. Every time I hosted Sunday dinner, she would take tiny, hesitant bites of whatever I made, set her fork down early, and ask for a glass of water. I stopped inviting her over as often, convinced she was judging my meals. During Christmas dinner last year, I walked into the pantry to fetch extra napkins. My mother-in-law was standing near the back shelves, talking in a low voice to my sister-in-law...
My husband has said "I love you" every single day for twelve years. Three weeks ago he stopped. No fight. No distance. Just stopped. Not passive aggressive about it. Still kind. Still present. Just those three words gone. Day four I thought maybe I was imagining it. Day eight I was sure I wasn't. Day twelve I almost asked. Stopped myself. Watched instead. He was fine...
I called my dad today just to ask him something.
He answered on the second ring and sounded so happy to hear from me.
We talked for maybe five minutes.
Before hanging up, he said, “Call me again sometime. I like hearing your voice.”
I said I would.
Then I sat there staring at my phone, realizing how often we say “sometime” to people we quietly assume will always be there.
Some calls become memories before we even realize they were important.